虚しさを出ている

今晩、目を覚めたら、家には誰もいなかった。何とか心の中で虚しさを溢れ出した、すごく怖くて、寂しかった。まるでちさいごろに目を覚めたら親が何処でもないで、そして涙を出てしまった。

when i woke up tonight, there is no one at home. I am so afraid. All kind of loniness just come out from my heart. Very afraid. I don't know what I am afraid of. I wanna cry, but I cannot. I always thought that after a good sleep, everything will be fine, but it is not...

I try to let go, but all those feeling of being unwanted just come out from my heart. I studied personality when I was 19. I belonged to this type http://www.enneagram.com/enneagram_type2.html . I was so lonely now. I just want someone to stay with me, speaking nothing.

I am very afriad. My mind is blank.

I have tried to ring up my friends, but after hanged up the phone. I am afraid again.
I tried to call up my flamate, but after she is gone, I am afraid again..